Archive for the ‘sex and relationships’ Category

Condoms in porn movies

Saturday, September 26th, 2009

NOTE: This post is about porn and safe sex. It is not a debate about the pros and cons of porn in society – I have my opinions on that and will share it in another post.

Recently in LA an AIDS  advocacy group filed complaints with officials against production companies that show unprotected sex (no condoms used) in porn movies. 16 production companies were named.

With my 20 years of sexual experience I am very aware about AIDS and safe sex, by the time I became sexually active AIDS was everywhere in the media and I knew better than to have unprotected sex. What is worrying though about the lack of condoms in porn is both the risk placed on the performers (monthly testing does not protect you!) as well as the influence on younger people who are not impacted by the safe sex message and think if it is ok in porn it is ok in real life.

Production companies claim their customers do not want to see coondoms in movies – it affects their profit apparently if they insist their stars are protected. I say so what! These performers need protection and people need a consistant message on how to have fun sex and stay safe at the same time.

I have a teenage daughter and have a close relationship with many of her friends and it scares me how unprepared these young girls are for sex. Each and every one of them fears pregnancy – but STI’s are so far from their mind it is scary. Several of these girls state proudly that they are on the pill but condoms are considered embarrassing and difficult.

I am not dismissing the pregnancy issue – but lets face it – getting knocked up rarely kills you these days – but sex without a condom can!

I want to see condoms in the media everywhere – I want condom advertising on tv, I want condoms used in porn, I want mandatory use of condoms for sex workers, I want condom machines in every public toilet – Id like to see a day where sex is always protected outside of long term (pre tested) monogamous relationships.

Condoms in porn and everywhere else? I say YES – what do YOU think?

Trust and husband number 23!

Wednesday, September 16th, 2009

Trust is such an important thing in any kind of relationship.
Anyone who shares my life knows how important it is to me, Id rather suck up any negativity and deal with it rather than be lied to … even if the intentions are well meant.
I have forgiven those who have betrayed my trust in the past – but that has been highly conditional on trust being regained (and the severity of the betrayal ). I have no place in my life for people I do not trust and it seems that Wook Kundor feels the same way!

According to http://au.news.yahoo.com the 107-year-old Malaysian woman says she is ready to marry for the 23rd time because she fears her current drug addict husband might leave her for a younger woman.

she told the Star newspaper: “Lately, there is this kind of insecurity in me,”

“I realise that I am an aged woman. I don’t have the body nor am I a young woman who can attract anyone.”

“My intention to remarry is to fill my forlornness and nothing more than that,” she said.

Now if this plucky woman at 107 isn’t willing to settle for a relationship with a man she doesn’t trust I say why should any of us (men too!)

It is so easy out of fear, security, money, dependance, lonelyness etc to stay in a relationship that is unhealthy – and without trust how can it be?

To me trust is as important as love, friendship (and great sex) in a relationship – what do YOU think

The pros of prostitution – make it legal?

Saturday, September 12th, 2009

hookers

I believe prostitution should be legalised world wide for consenting adults. I believe a woman (or man ) has the right to put a price on his or her sexual services. I believe a willing adult client has the right to purchase them.
I think it is stupid that governments can dictate what we do with our bodies and that includes “renting them out”

I am not talking about naive girls being forced by pimps or sexual slavery or selling children here, I am not talking about fucked up drug addicts or women being coerced into prostitution. I am talking about the right for a woman (or man) to do what she wishes with her body.

Prostitution serves its purpose in the fact that it services a part of the community that are needing social, sexual and human contact that might other wise miss out. Of course the industry also caters for those who seek a no complication sexual encounter too, as well as those who wish to explore, learn and add to their sexual experience.
The shy, the old, the unattractive, the disabled, the time poor and the lonely all find comfort when without such services they would still go without and they are branded in some circles as monsters for it.

On the other side of the coin many a bright intelligent attractive woman has funded other wise unobtainable education “on her back” and I personally know one woman who was a “working girl” from the age of 24 – 31 when she retired with a property portfolio worth 1.8 million – set for life on 7 years work . She also studied and left the industry with a degree in psychology.
I know of women who have paid off mortgages and traveled. I know some even work while married and raising children, some times they decided to, to keep the house, pay the school fees and enjoy a decent life. Many work part time to top up their income as teachers, nurses, or so they can afford to be stay at home mothers for most of the week.
These women have a right to do their job without stigma and without legal persecution.

I do think prostitution comes with its risks and not everyone is suited to the industry. I DO NOT recommend anyone seek employment in the sex industry for many reasons (Maybe a post for another day) but I DO support the right of any adult who wishes to, to be able to do so legally and safely.

I think  prostitution should be legalised world wide for consenting legal adults. What do YOU think?

Why women have sex – the secret REAL reasons

Thursday, September 10th, 2009

Texas University professors and Why Women Have Sex authors Cindy Meston and David Buss have shed light on the real reasons women have sex!

ling2

Apparently 84 per cent of women admit to having sex to get “a quiet life” or as a leverage for household chores!
How romantic – one woman even confessed to having sex so that her husband would put out the rubbish!

Others admitted to giving out “sympathy sex” and sleeping with a guy just because she felt sorry for him, still more confessed to sex to relieve boredom, to keep the peace or as a cure for a headache.

Money and gifts played a part with nearly 1/10 of women admitting to nearly  “having sex for presents”. Others  women said: “He bought me a nice dinner”, “he spent a lot of money on me early on”, “he showed me he had an extravagant lifestyle” as their reasons for sleeping with them.

Maybe the old reasoning that women have sex for love is out the window too with 6/10 university students said they slept with a male friend who was not their boyfriend for fun.

I have always had what my peers consider a strange attitude about sex and an above “normal” sex drive. Whilst I agree sex in a close relationship is very special I have always considered sex to be a fun pastime too and recreational event – it looks like other women are starting to view it the same way!

So there you go – the secrets are out – what do YOU think?