Do you smack your kids?
Its a hot topic and the sides are clearly divided. I have to admit I sit somewhere in the middle.
Yes I have smacked my children at different stages of their lives, but it is not a regular form of punishment for me – rather the extreme last resort.
I prefer to teach my children rather than punish them physically and I prefer my punishments to have an impact somewhere other than their bottoms.
I prefer to sit my kids down and tell them what I expect from them and why, I prefer to teach them how to do it right rather than just lashing out with a punishment but I do smack as a last resort and when my kids were toddlers I did use a smack on the hand as a deterrent (and before you abuse me for it – have YOU ever tried to reason with a rabid 2 year old who wants to touch the fire?)
I also confiscate prized belongings, ban electronic entertainment, remove phone privileges and hand out “lines” as punishments (great for improving hand writing lol) and these usually have a huge impact now my kids are getting older as does doubling chores (every one in my house has jobs to do – we all live here and have an obligation to maintain it – having breasts does not make it my domain alone !) I do not think I have had to resort to a smack for well over twelve months now and hope not to have to again.
Well now a new scientific study is telling us that repeated “spanking: of children leads to lower IQ’s. The study, involving hundreds of U.S. children, showed the more frequently a child was spanked, the lower his or her IQ compared with others.
according to the report I found here
If spanking does send IQ scores down, Straus and others offer some explanations for what might be going on.
“Contrary to what everyone believes, being hit by parents is a traumatic experience,” Straus said. “We know from lots of research that traumatic stresses affect the brain adversely.” Also, the trauma could cause kids to have more stressful responses in difficult situations, and so may not perform as well cognitively.
By using hitting rather than words or other means of discipline, parents could be depriving kids of learning opportunities. “With spanking, a parent is delivering a punishment to get the child’s attention and to get them to behave in a certain way,” said Elizabeth Gershoff, who studies childhood development at the University of Texas, Austin. “It’s not fostering children’s independent thinking.”
Well I do agree with the thought that parents miss out on teaching opportunities by spanking – but I do feel in certain situations that it can be necessary .I think there are a lot of other factors contributing to this outcome. In fact I believe quite strongly that so many of societies problems are caused by weak parenting
- I am not claiming that it will all be solved with a smack or that smacking is good for kids – I just feel when the lesson has been taught over and over and the child has not stopped the unacceptable behavior then an open hand smack is an option as a last resort consequence.
What do YOU think – do you smack your kids – why/why not?
Tags: hitting, kids, lower iq, parenting, parents, punishment, smacking, smacking kids, smacking makes kids dumb, spanking, spanking kids
Thanks for some great points there. I am kind of new to the internet , so I printed this off to put in my file, any better way to go about keeping track of it then printing?
Now that is something I’ve never heard before. Thanks for sharing.
I am personally absolutely against using physical violence against people, be it unknown or known, friends, parents, wives, husbands and, of course, children. And I live with my wife and three teenagers, so this is not merely theory. Using physical violence against children is a misuse of power and this is exactly what the child learns through it: that it is OK to use power over weaker people and force them into doing whatever you want them to do.
GMaster – yes, I agree that a swift smack does not cause much physical harm, but it hurts emotionally, since we all need respect, autonomy… I believe you also would not like if I swiftly smacked you over your head when I disagreed with you or disliked your words, for instance. For children, being in a weaker and dependent position, it is even much more painful when they are physically violated by their parents, the people they need safety and love from the most.
You have to wonder why no one else is talking about this. Glad you are. Great post.
A swift smack with a hand does not harm, beating kids with belt and wooden spoons etc is cruel
That is some inspirational stuff. Never knew that opinions could be this varied. Thanks for all the enthusiasm to offer such helpful information here.
What a breath of fresh air to bring a little sunshine after a horrible day. Excellent article that really gets the idea covered. Cant thank you enough for sharing.
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Great information! I will be back for more very soon
You have to wonder why no one else is talking about this. Glad you are. Great post.
I am personally absolutely against using physical violence against people, be it unknown or known, friends, parents, wives, husbands and, of course, children. And I live with my wife and three teenagers, so this is not merely theory. Using physical violence against children is a misuse of power and this is exactly what the child learns through it: that it is OK to use power over weaker people and force them into doing whatever you want them to do.
GMaster – yes, I agree that a swift smack does not cause much physical harm, but it hurts emotionally, since we all need respect, autonomy… I believe you also would not like if I swiftly smacked you over your head when I disagreed with you or disliked your words, for instance. For children, being in a weaker and dependent position, it is even much more painful when they are physically violated by their parents, the people they need safety and love from the most.
A swift smack with a hand does not harm, beating kids with belt and wooden spoons etc is cruel